Here comes Santa Claus

From our family to yours
Merry Christmas!!!!






The stockings are hung..





Visions of sugar plums dance in their heads!

Gotta Smile.

Just a little something to brighten your day! Blake in his shades!

Happy Holidays.

As Christmas rolls around I hope everyone remembers....

It is not about the gifts we receive, or the food we eat.
It's not about the stockings, the tree, garland or mistletoe.
It's not about the carols about snowmen, sleds or Santa.

Instead, it's about the LOVE that all these things bring out.
It's the smile on a child's face when they see the cookies have been eaten and the milk drank.
It's the excitement in your loved ones eyes as they open the gift they have wanted all year.
It's about remembering the loved ones who can not be there with you.
It's about that feeling in your heart that you get knowing you have made it another year!

It's that knowledge of knowing God, himself, has pulled you through those tough times. He has carried you when you couldn't stand to walk anymore. He has lifted you up when you've felt you couldn't feel more low. It is this time of year we must remember the true meaning of Christmas. To remember it is because of Him that we get to experience the joy and warmth that the holidays bring. It is because of Him that we are here, because of His sacrifice!
This year, daily, my heart breaks thinking of not getting to wake up on Christmas with Blake and Conor. Getting to spend it with both of them cuddled in my arms. Watching them on their first Christmas stare at the lights, and unwrap their gifts (okay so they would be a little young to unwrap- but you know what I mean!). It hurts SO deeply to know that this Christmas we will be without Conor, but then I remember...
This is a sacrifice. This is His plan!
I certainly don't have to like it!
I definitely don't have to understand it even!
But what I can do it place my undying faith in it!
Knowing and feeling deep within, that I will see my sweet boy again. I find such comfort in that. Because of this tonight I wont lie my head down and pray my usual prayer. I pray nightly for Blake's strength, for his healing. For the Lord to heal him so that he may one day spread the word of God and speak the truth...that he is a living, breathing, WALKING miracle. But tonight I will pray for all those mommies who will wake up this Christmas without their little son or daughter, pray for those Mommies and Daddies who hurt so deeply too. I will pray for those of you who know and have experienced loss- who are missing someone this Holiday. Someone you wish you could see just one last time. Tell them you love them, hug them, kiss them....just be with them for one last minute. Tonight I'll say a prayer that you find comfort, peace and what I search for the most, continued faith! I hope if you read this, and you are going through a bad day, that you know your loved one is celebrating Christmas too. Your dad, your mom, your grandparent, friend, son or daughter...they know its Christmas and they are rejoicing in it!
They get to spend it in a more glorious place than our minds can even comprehend!
Experience such a beauty, our eyes could never see.
Hearing carols too lovely our ears couldn't hear the notes.
A more joyous, warm and loving place than we can even imagine.
This is what helps me cope with the loss of Conor. Undying faith, and everlasting love!
God bless you all! Happy Holidays!

All Around the World.

Lets look at some numbers....

9 surgeries.
139 days in the hospital.
114 blog posts.
40,000 blog views.
20+ different views from different countries.

Our story is followed by family, friends, and even complete strangers. 

We receive letters of support, and messages that let us know what our blog has done to help another family, friend or stranger. We can not explain what it means to us to hear from you, and to know that what we write not only allows us to vent and put emotions to paper (so to speak), but also helps other people too.  Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read about our life, to read about our miracle, and our heartbreak. We hope that if for nothing else we are documenting our life in a day to day perspective for Blake to read one day, to read of the trials placed before him that he continues to overcome! 

So from us to you thank you for sharing in our story! 

I end most of my post the same way...So here they are....
PICTURES!!!


Blake is definitely growing blonde hair like his mommy these days!
CHECK OUT THIS DO!

 Blake is also eating more frequently he loves his fruits and oddly enough sweet potatoes, and peas....
However, he is still getting more on him than in his mouth!
But its alright we are growing and gaining weight so it all counts..
Last weight check.
13 pounds 7 ounces!!
WOOHOO!

And now for another Holiday Photo Shoot with Mommy!
So in the past, I have slightly been a slight Grinch around Christmas. The holidays to me stressed me out more than brought me joy...However, this year I have traded in my bah-hum-bugs and exchanged them for garland and mistletoe! This year we have down sized Christmas a bit, and plan to spend the whole day counting our blessings, remembering and loving Conor, and holding Blake close, as we Thank the Lord for his most precious miracle!

 Check out these BIG BLUE eyes..
How could you not melt every morning with those staring back at you?

 And those piggies...

 We were practicing sitting...only I caught Blake falling instead.

 This picture is my absolute favorite. So precious.

 Loves that thumb!

 There is that smile again...


As I said we have many friends, family and even strangers that keep up with our blog...and to our surprise we received a letter the other day from family friends ALL the way from San Fran!!
So even though we are Cardinals fans in this house..wink.wink.
We had to deck Blake out in his new gear!

Thanks Tom and Diane Arneson!
And Thanks to Mary....
Though we have never met, Diane let us know how you keep up with our story!
So from Zach and I, to you, we can't thank you enough!!!

 He will grow into the shirt!! For now it can be a sleeper!

 "Wait mom...what team is this?!?"

 Smiling for our friends all the way in San Francisco!


So these days...I've said it before. Blake is teething..and boy does he let us know how bad it hurts!

But with the help of COLD COLD COLD teething rings we can usually calm him down...

and if that doesn't work we try teething tablets...that usually calm the pain enough he passes right out.
And he is such a good snuggler!!

So after a good LONG nap...
 we get that beautiful toothless gummy smile of his again!

ahhh....this lil' man is the LOVE of my life.
So blessed. 

Look-a-like.

If anyone ever wondered who Blake looks like...

Here is Mr. Blake.......


And here is his daddy....

Riley Visit.

Friday morning started with a quick shower, feeding and packing for the unexpected. 4 bottles, one can of formula, one box of rice cereal, 20 diapers, wipes, and an extra change of clothes. Stroller, check. Pack and Play (just in case), check. Coffee, double check! So we placed Blake in his car seat and at 7:30 we were on the road, the long journey to Indy. Only one stop on the way up!! More coffee, changed Blake and fed him and then hit the road again- only after a quick photo shoot!! Striking poses for mommy!

 

We arrived just in time for Blake's MRI at 1:30. Zach and I both went back with him, and thank God this was a partial MRI. One because I don't know if I could stomach Blake's crying for much longer than the 15 minutes we had to, and Two because my back would have been killing me if it lasted any longer. (I had to hold Blake's legs down, which required me to lean across the hard board of the MRI machine. 

 Waiting for his doctor to come in the exam room.

Blake was a big hit with all the ladies- such a flirt!

It was from there that we went to see Blake's neurologist to check in and review the results of the MRI. I won't lie Zach and I have a hard time with these appointments, and when we were in the NICU made it a rule to not look at Blake's CT scans, or head ultrasounds. We had decided it was more important for us to focus on what Blake was doing rather than focusing on what scans show Blake might not do, but today we made the decision to view the MRI results with his doctor. She compared the MRI results from Friday to one done after his shunt placement in August... Shockingly, Blake's brain shows much improvement, and shows his brain tissue is maturing where they thought would just be "blank" space so to speak. On the scan Blake's left side of his brain looked like a totally different brain scan, with vast improvements. His right side showed some improvement not as much as the left but still some- so that's why only his left arm seems to be affected so far! I know to some people who are non-medical or no nothing of strokes, brain bleeds, etc this may mean nothing- but to us this is nothing short of a miracle! It is God's work, these scan are what doctors said back in May "impossible", Blake is a TRUE MIRACLE! His doctor seemed very pleased with Blake's progress, movement, reflexes and over all condition. She also seemed okay with us moving forward with constraint therapy, and has also recommended the use of a cranial band, just as we had suspected. So Blake will be sporting a new "hat" for a while the treatment can last anywhere from 2 months to over a year, but his doctor seemed to think his shouldn't take long to fix. The medical word for this is Plagiocephaly: a condition characterized by a flattening of one side of the skull. The lucky part? The place for Blake to get fitted is here in Evansville (WOOHOO!! No long 4 hour drive!) we will see them January 2nd for the initial visit. So more to come on that once we actually see a cranial tech. But all in all this visit although LOOOONNG, could not have had better results for Zach and I- Well and Blake of course! Before we left we made a quick stop my the NICU to catch up with some of the nurses and staff. Blake was reunited with his first love his nurse Lauren! He sure did love seeing her!

Blake was such a happy baby that day, flirting with everyone and grinning cheek to cheek.

Happy Baby for sure...that was until the drive home...Blake was not happy. The drive took a little longer than normal lasting almost 5 hours...We had to make a few unscheduled stops for stretching and playing otherwise our ears would be ringing from all the crying and screaming all the way home. Note to self from now on all Riley appointments will be overnighters just to save Blake from sitting in a car seat for most of the day, well and to save our ears of course!

 Blake and Daddy playing in the parking lot of a bank until Blake calmed down. Once we reached home Blake was his happy self again. So full of love and laughter! I captured our little ham, being a little ham as soon as we got home! Such a good day, but such a long trip!

After about an hour home Blake was knocked...so to his crib he went...

and not long after that Mommy and Daddy were out too!!

Naked Baby

Lots of updates from today's appointment... BUT today it's gonna have to wait!! We are exhausted... After 4 1/2 hours to Indy, 3 hours in Indy, and almost a 5 hour drive back (Blake was a A LOT little fussy!) and we are just ready for bed!! But here are some Naked Baby pictures from the other day!!




Blake loves his piano arch playtime mat... Mainly cause he loves checkin' himself out!!!


And this is the face he makes when he spots himself!!


And when he spots his mommy!!


Happy boy!!
No shirt, no shoes, no problems!!


Trying out this sitting thing. He does not look convinced!!


Sitting like a big boy- with the support of the recliner but hey we are practicing!!


Checking out what's on the TV!


He was suppose to be sitting in the recliner while I made a bottle. He was screaming- then silence! I walk in to check what's up and this is what I see!! That boy and his thumb!!! Loves it!!