Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Certainly Special

Taking care of a special needs child is hard. It's frustrating, it's exhausting.

Being the parent to a special needs child brings feelings of worry, pain and constant questioning. What will be his struggles? Where will he be in 5 years? How can I prevent him from bullying?

When Blake was born we knew pretty much there was a 99% chance, after his brain bleed, that he would be diagnosed with cerebral palsy. The damage was so severe there was little to no chance that his muscle tone would not be effected. Even though we were told this in the NICU when he was officially diagnosed with cerebral palsy last year all my worries and questions came to the surface. My brain never stopping- will he, won't he, will it all be physical, will it be mental too? Our house isn't handicap capable, what about our vehicles? Question after question, thought after thought...sometimes I wish my brain would just stop and allow silence, even if only for five minutes. Five minutes without worry, without questions, without all of it. Just silence. Peace and quiet.

But alas, silence is not in my nature. So I've come up with a better idea. Acceptance! I'm a super planner so the idea of just being okay with not knowing what lies ahead of me is a sure fire way to get me flustered and provokes my searching for answers even more....but this time....at least for today I'll let it be. Let it be. If he walks great, if he doesn't that's okay to. If he can't speak fully we will find a way for him to communicate, if he takes after his momma and decides to learn to talk and then never stop....well we will come to that when we get there haha! We might have to buy daddy ear plugs! If we have to make modifications to our house or cars that's okay too. Because no matter what the disability, no matter what he is able to do and what he isn't, it doesn't take away from the fact that Blake may just be....the coolest child I know! (And we have some pretty awesome cool kiddos in our lives!)

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