Monday, September 17, 2012



The condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

Every day I fall more in love with my little boy. I find myself in awe of him. His every movement, his every expression, even his cry. Every sense of the word perfection, every sense of the word a miracle.

I get told a lot how strong Zach and I are, how inspirational, but truly we get credit for doing something that any mother or father would their child unconditionally. We have been through hell and back, and to lose a child is hopefully the worst thing that will ever happen to us, but through it all we have never claimed the victim card.
We have never stood and cursed God, or blamed anyone, including ourselves.
Sure we have been sad.
We have, to be frank, been pissed off at times.
We have questioned.
We have undeniably mourned, but we have never felt like victims.
Blake is a fighter, he is strong, and he is SO amazing! We are just his parents, two people so in love that they would do anything that would benefit our baby and his journey! So I thank you all for your kind words, and your praise but truly its not Zach or I to go home and write about, its our little man and his unbelievable strength and fight. He started out so small and fragile, at one point was a mere 1 pound 1 ounce, and still overcame obstacles that grown men and women couldn't pass. He has now come so far, he is by all means of the definition: PERFECTION and he is the one who is inspirational!

This was my first week back to work, unbelievably hard, and no doubt something I was not ready for. We have only been home for a little over three weeks so Zach and I didn't have time to get in a routine, let a alone, be ready to leave Blake and go to work. However, as hard as it was, and as much as I still hate leaving every time I have to go to work, the girls I work for are amazing and made this transition in my life a little easier for me. Did I cry? Well OF COURSE!! But I cry about everything now-a-days, I'm sure my shoe lace could probably come untied and I'd find some reason to start crying about it...damn hormones!! On Monday I entered work, and found a Welcome Back Katie sign and a group of my dear co-workers waiting to greet me! As overwhelmed with emotions as I was, I was surprised that my "flight" reaction didn't take place. I was prepared to feel overwhelmed and overtaken by the need to leave immediately and was pleasantly surprised when I didn't feel that way at was probably the fact that there was cake....never can I leave without a piece of cake right? So the night went on, and guess what? I didn't melt, I didn't have a mental breakdown, and honestly I cried much less than I thought I would. It did help that Zach and I facetimed (thank goodness for IPhones right?) and I got to see my little booger before his went to bed, and missing my lil' man made coming home that much sweeter. So I can officially say I have survived my first week back to work, many tears, and still wishing to win the lotto so I can stay at home and spend every waking hour with my little boy, I did it and I'm still alive! WHO KNEW?! 

First Night of Bro'ing out...

Just Daddy and Blake.

I think he already missed me- and I hadn't even left yet!

My wonderful Co-Workers made me a sign!

 Best way to make a girl happy after having to come back to work?

Buy her a cake- it makes everything better!!

Also Thanks girls for the awesome gift- Couldn't ask for better friends!!

Blake and Mommy's first facetime session.

When I got home that morning I was greeted with such a big smile!!

Second night's facetime session! Blake is cheesing it!

 And then he got feed and knocked out before I could say bye bye!!

May be sleeping, but he is still cheesing!

3rd night facetime session...

poor boy must have been playing to much with daddy,

 because he was knocked!!

This is what I get to come home to every morning...

wide eyed cuteness!! 

 Daddy and Blake still having boy time when I am home...

 I had to steal some snuggle time for myself!!

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