This morning I settled into my same ol' routine as always.
1st things first....my drink, Coffee- check!
2nd thing...Blake's drink-check!
Music playing in the living room-check!
Playtime with Blake-check!
Daily morning Facebook-check!
I was surprised to see today, that in replace of the funny morning drama I usually read on this social media site I instead found people posting "30 days of Thankfulness".
For November in loo of thanksgiving people everyday are listing things in their life they are thankful for. As I am reading through the various post I looked down at my snuggle bug lying in my arms.
How could I possibly explain the things I am thankful for this year?
I am thankful that my son is alive.That after 4 long months fighting for his life Blake pulled through, and is doing so well. I am thankful that every morning I get to lay on the floor playing with him. That everyday I can play patty-cake with him and his smile takes my heart and makes it melt. I am just so honored to be his mommy, and so thankful to be able to watch him grow.
I am thankful to be at Zach and my home, on our couch, watching our tv, sleeping in our bed. I am thankful that after living in the Ronald McDonald house for so long that we can be at our home with our child, while so many others still sit at that house waiting to bring their child home. And even more heartbreaking some may never get to bring their child home, so I am thankful everyday that I was able to bring Blake home.
I am thankful that God blessed me with the opportunity to be the mother of twin boys. Such a miracle in itself to carry two boys... even if only for a little over 6 months. I am thankful I was able to feel both of my babies kick, and move inside my belly.
I am thankful that I was able to spend time with Conor, and that we were given time with him, though it was short some people don't even have that. Some babies born that premature never even take a breath, our son was able to spend a short amount of time on earth, he was able to feel his mother and fathers touch before hearing the call of the angels. He was able to hear us, see us, be near us. We were given the opportunity to see him before he gained his wings. Although short, I will always be thankful that time, and I am truly blessed to have had it.
I am thankful to have the loving and supporting family.
I am thankful to my mother, who above all else has ALWAYS put her kids above everything else. She took the time every Saturday that we were in Indianapolis to drive 7 hours round trip no matter what. She always knew on my bad days what to say, and sometimes knew not to say anything. I am very blessed to have not only the best mother in the world, but a mother that I can truly call my friend.
I am thankful to my step-father for coming and staying in Indy and always being there for me since I was a little kid- its rare in life you can have 2 fathers and I have been so blessed to have Mike as one of them!
I am thankful to have had my father and step mother in the NICU the nights Blake wasn't doing well, a long drive for them, and yet they did it time and time again while Blake was in the NICU at Deaconess.
I am thankful for Mark, my father in law, for coming up to Indy and taking us out to keep our minds off of the hardships, helping us to laugh, and stay positive. Sometimes the best medicine for a broken heart is laughter and he is always the first to break the tension.
Thankful to Monica, my mother in law for taking off work to make it for every one of Blake's surgery. To hold us when we were lost, for always staying a prisoner of hope, and guiding us back when we were losing our way. Thanks for standing on that rock when I so graciously skipped beside it.
And Lastly, and mostly, I am thankful for my husband. From the night my water broke, and our hearts broke together he stood strong for us both- it was us two above all else and no matter what we would still have one another. I am thankful to have someone who so completely loves me for me, faults and all. Thankful that I have someone in my life that supports everything I do whether it's crazy or not. I have someone who is not only the love of my life but is my best friend. I am thankful that even now, after saying goodbye to our precious child, going through what will be the hardest thing in our whole life, that we pulled through. We grew stronger in love, and stronger in faith together. And most of all I am so thankful that he is the wonderful father I knew he would always be.
I am so thankful for my life, through loss, growth, love, and faith.
I am thankful that this is my story and that I can share it with everyone,
because I am BLESSED and that alone is something to be thankful for.
"Three things will last forever: Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13