As Christmas rolls around I hope everyone remembers....
It is not about the gifts we receive, or the food we eat.
It's not about the stockings, the tree, garland or mistletoe.
It's not about the carols about snowmen, sleds or Santa.
Instead, it's about the LOVE that all these things bring out.
It's the smile on a child's face when they see the cookies have been eaten and the milk drank.
It's the excitement in your loved ones eyes as they open the gift they have wanted all year.
It's about remembering the loved ones who can not be there with you.
It's about that feeling in your heart that you get knowing you have made it another year!
It's that knowledge of knowing God, himself, has pulled you through those tough times. He has carried you when you couldn't stand to walk anymore. He has lifted you up when you've felt you couldn't feel more low. It is this time of year we must remember the true meaning of Christmas. To remember it is because of Him that we get to experience the joy and warmth that the holidays bring. It is because of Him that we are here, because of His sacrifice!
This year, daily, my heart breaks thinking of not getting to wake up on Christmas with Blake and Conor. Getting to spend it with both of them cuddled in my arms. Watching them on their first Christmas stare at the lights, and unwrap their gifts (okay so they would be a little young to unwrap- but you know what I mean!). It hurts SO deeply to know that this Christmas we will be without Conor, but then I remember...
This is a sacrifice. This is His plan!
I certainly don't have to like it!
I definitely don't have to understand it even!
But what I can do it place my undying faith in it!
Knowing and feeling deep within, that I will see my sweet boy again. I find such comfort in that. Because of this tonight I wont lie my head down and pray my usual prayer. I pray nightly for Blake's strength, for his healing. For the Lord to heal him so that he may one day spread the word of God and speak the truth...that he is a living, breathing, WALKING miracle. But tonight I will pray for all those mommies who will wake up this Christmas without their little son or daughter, pray for those Mommies and Daddies who hurt so deeply too. I will pray for those of you who know and have experienced loss- who are missing someone this Holiday. Someone you wish you could see just one last time. Tell them you love them, hug them, kiss them....just be with them for one last minute. Tonight I'll say a prayer that you find comfort, peace and what I search for the most, continued faith! I hope if you read this, and you are going through a bad day, that you know your loved one is celebrating Christmas too. Your dad, your mom, your grandparent, friend, son or daughter...they know its Christmas and they are rejoicing in it!
They get to spend it in a more glorious place than our minds can even comprehend!
Experience such a beauty, our eyes could never see.
Hearing carols too lovely our ears couldn't hear the notes.
A more joyous, warm and loving place than we can even imagine.
This is what helps me cope with the loss of Conor. Undying faith, and everlasting love!
God bless you all! Happy Holidays!