May 24, 2012 10:25 PM
Wake up everyday cherish what you have because in a blink of an eye things you may take for granted may be gone. I woke up 7 weeks ago- happy, counting down the days until I got to meet my two boys. Planning their nursery, buying matching outfits. Planning the baby showers, daydreaming of my two boys playing, having their own secret twin language. The boys in my belly- the kicks Conor gave to my left ribs and Blake punching my bladder...the things you take for granted. Those precious movements in my belly were the only time I got to have both of my baby boys together, I never knew that would be the last and only time we would get to have them together. My instant family of four was taken away so swiftly. The petty things we worried about- how will we afford this? How do you raise two babies at the same time? OH my all the crying, and diapers, and food----what I would give to hear both of my boys crying, holding both of them, comforting them. No bath times, No watching them in their side by side cribs, no singing them to sleep.
If only we knew...
LOVE, ENJOY and REMEMBER the little things...this is what Conor taught us. I LOVE watching Blake sleep, I ENJOY watching him wiggle and I make sure to write down everything. I write down the bad, the good all so I can REMEMBER! And the things I worried about before I cant wait for- I cant wait to hear Blake cry for the first time, to hold him and rock him, to comfort him. I sing to him everyday while he is in the incubator. "You are my Sunshine" and "Lullaby" our favorites! Zach reads to him. We take videos and pictures everyday. Conor has taught us to cherish every movement, every sound, every look. We miss him daily and wish things could be different but then I pull back and remember the serenity prayer...
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
So we count the small things now as victories- Blake is 2 lbs 12oz today! Our boy is getting big. His swelling is definitely alot better from surgery. He was started on a steriod today given through his ventilator to help his lungs to mature in hopes of getting the breathing tube out sooner rather than later.
They have upped his feedings again which he appreciates! As do Mommy and Daddy. (just one more thing to help get him big and strong!) Blake is putting on the weight quickly and we are counting every ounce as one more step closer to getting strong enough to get home! As great at the nurses and doctors are here at Riley we are ready to get back to Deaconess and close to friends and family! Once Blake gets up to 4-5 lbs he will have his ostomy reversal surgery on his belly and recover- then hopefully (FINGERS CROSSED) get to come back to deaconess until being able to go home! But whether we are here at Riley or back at Deaconess we know he is in God's hands, and again we just thank God for each and every day we have with our lil' miracle boy!!
Blake's swelling is completely gone..looking suave again!